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The Christmas menace making a comeback

by ALISON LEVIER Section Editor

The 25th is slowly creeping up on us, but for some that’s not the only thing creeping.

The Elf on a Shelf is a toy used by parents, it would seem, to torture their children and make them have nightmares about elves. The story of the elf is a story that has been around since the 1960s, but was not published until 2005.

The story was based on a doll that came about in the 1950s – an elf doll that would watch your every move and supposedly “fly back” to the North Pole every night to tell Santa all about the shenanigans the kids had gotten themselves into the previous day. So, in a nutshell, this toy stalks children by day and is agent 007 by night.

In all seriousness, though, this toy is an obvious ploy to get children to behave so that their parents can justify giving their ungrateful children a ton of useless junk. Ah, you have to love the holidays.

Before I go on, though, SPOILER ALERT, Santa’s not real. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I would like to address some problems I have with this demonic toy.

First of all, this thing is scary. Thinking back, if I had had this toy as a child I would probably be in therapy right now, trying to shake the traumatizing image of that stupid little elf from my nightmares.

“Wait is this for real? Parents buy this for their kids? What? I’m a teenager and this scares me,” says sophomore Kirsten Pasewaldt.

I honestly do not understand how parents buy this toy for their children. It is like the Chucky doll; how do you know it is not just going to snap one day and come to life?

Now, do not get me wrong, it is definitely a really good idea, and it is a great attempt at conning children with cuteness (key word here: attempt), but something just is not clicking.

Could it be the beady eyes that seem to follow you around the room? The thought that it could be anywhere in the house, just ready to sneak up and attack?

Let us be honest with ourselves, if you are not the one hiding the thing, finding it has got to be an experience. I cannot even imagine walking into a room and just feeling eyes burning into the back of my neck, only to finally turn around and see a doll there that will not stop looking at me.

“My little brothers and sisters have this. My mom hides it every night and waking up not knowing where it is is the most emotional part of my day,” says sophomore Jordan Bussiere.

Just the thought of this thing scares me, and neither I, nor anyone in my family, has ever owned one, as far as I know. Wait a second, I think cousin Joe with the eye twitch used to have one!

What is wrong with this toy? Whatever it is, one thing is certain: it is frightening and has to be stopped before it reaches the breaking point.

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